Getting to the (Catholic) Part - FOCCUS

Well you've probably been wondering why I put the (Catholic) up there, much less put it in parenthesis. Yes, I'm Catholic, and no, my fiance is not. So one of the lovely things that is required in the process of getting married in the Catholic Church is taking the FOCCUS test.

The FOCCUS test is an ancient test invented by "church people" to determine whether or not you are compatible. Excuse me, I just looked it up on the website - it's a self-diagnostic inventory (http://www.foccusinc.com/sections/foccus_content.asp?PKID=6). The idea is that you take the compatibility test, then you meet with a marriage counselor to go over the results. After that, you're allowed to meet with a member of the clergy to set a date and start your other meetings.

Actually taking the test was much like what you would suspect. The pastor's coordinator met us in the reception area and took us to the pastor's parlor. She asked us if we would like coffee, then very sweetly brought it to us. She then handed us the test, asked us a few questions to determine which sections of the test we needed to fill out (there are additional sections if the couple lives together, has children, or has been previously married). Then, she handed us a pencil, warned us not to collude, and said she would be in her office next door.

We worked through the test independently, and while I probably shouldn't include test questions, some of them really concerned me.

• Are you ever frightened of your future spouse?
• Are you concerned about the amount of alcohol your future spouse consumes?
• Are you concerned about the amount of cocaine your furture spouse uses?
• Would you feel comfortable naked in front of your future spouse?

These questions are obviously "red flags" for the marriage counselor, but what person would answer them honestly if they actually were going to say yes to them. Who would wait until that point, when you're trying to get married to say, "Oh, yeah, and this guy really freaks me out sometimes." I guess it's a last chance effort to save people from some a potentially harmful marriage.

In answer to your unspoken question, we did fine, although when we got our test results back, I found out that Fiance is apparently concerned with my drinking. Or at least, that's now what the marriage counselor thought. He laughed the whole way home, "I swear it was an accident!"